Fresh from an important summit with Kim (Thong Un) Kardashian and alienating our closest allies at the G-7 in Quebec, President Trump is in Singapore today for a sitdown with Kim Jong Un, dear leader of the Basket Case Known as North Korea.
The two human cartoons will reportedly discuss the “denuclearization” of the Korean Peninsula in between fits of praising each other’s greatness and commiserating over what a pain in the rump democracy and the rule of law can be when you’re trying to be a good king.
In a gushing letter canceling the summit after one of the volatile dictator/murderer/crime boss’ henchman called Vice President Mike Pence “ignorant and stupid,” Trump was effusive in his hope the meeting could be salvaged.
“I felt a wonderful dialogue was building up between you and me, and ultimately, it is only that dialogue that matters,” Trump wrote. “Some day, I look very much forward to meeting you.” Trump also thanked Kim for releasing three American hostages, which he called “a beautiful gesture and was very much appreciated.
“If you change your mind having to do with this most important summit, please do not hesitate to call me or write”
Kim wrote back in a very thick letter, which Trump described as “very nice” and “very interesting” hours before he actually opened it. The summit was back on. Even Dennis Rodman, former NBA star, “Celebrity Apprentice” contestant and a longtime pal of Kim was expected to be in town.
What could go wrong? We’ll have to wait and see, but the damage Trump did at the G-7 was immediately evident. He went out of his way to insult Canada, Germany, France and other bedrock allies. He pushed to allow Putin’s Russia back into the G-7, reneged on a promise to co-sign statement issued by member nations and called Prime Minister Justin Trudeau “dishonest” and “weak,” accusing the leader of our northern neighbor of making “false statements.”
In review: The elected leader of one of our oldest, staunchest allies politely complains about the asinine tariffs Trump hopes to impose on our friends deserves to belittled on the world stage. A brutal dictator and eternal enemy of the free world who starves his people and threatens nuclear war is a strong leader whom Trump looks “very much forward to meeting” and developing a “wonderful dialogue.”
Welcome the “South Park” Presidency. Trump even blamed Canada for burning down the White House in the War of 1812. It was the British, but history means nothing to Trump or his enablers and supporters, who don’t care that a human cartoon is the President of the United States.
I leave you today with some lines from “Blame Canada,” a song from the 1999 film “South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut.”
Times have changed
Our kids are getting worse
They won’t obey their parents
They just want to fart and curse
Should we blame the government?
Or blame society?
Or should we blame the images on TV?
No, blame Canada, blame Canada
With all their beady little eyes
And flappin’ heads so full of lies
Blame Canada, blame Canada
We need to form a full assault
It’s Canada’s fault
Well, blame Canada, blame Canada…
It seems that everything’s gone wrong
Since Canada came along
Blame Canada, blame Canada
There not even a real country anyway
Blame Canada, blame Canada…
We must blame them and cause a fuss
Before someone thinks of blaming us