Kicking off last week’s right-wing.pajama party/cult meeting called the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), Mike Lindell stood up and testified to a belief fervently held by many who call themselves “Conservative Christians:”

Jesus Christ Himself put Donald Trump in the White House.

“I now bring you back in time to the summer of 2015,” Lindell, 57, and the inventor of My Pillow said. “I see Donald Trump coming down an escalator and announcing he is running for president. For me it was a divine and miraculous moment — I felt something miraculous was about to unfold.”

Depending on your perspective, it did. I never believed Trump would win the presidency. I don’t believe he wanted to win, either. He is a barking dog who caught the mail truck and has no clue what to do with it.

Belief is a choice, however, and as a lifelong fan of Jesus, I just can’t wrap my head around favorable comparisons between Him and the President. When I look at Trump, I see everything my parents, pastors and Sunday school teachers raised me not to be.

After watching Trump’s bizarre, belligerent and buffoonish sermon to the enraptured CPAC congregation on Saturday, I surrender to the Trump Faithful and ask them to explain specifically how Trump’s performance was in any way Christ-like.

Please enlighten me

For more than two hours (the longest speech of his presidency), Trump went “off-script” and off the rails. We’re used to politicians wrapping themselves in the flag. Trump wrapped himself around it like it was a porn star. Get a room, Mr. President. And some counseling.

Trump frothed up the audience by tossing the usual red meat — the “fake news” media, federal investigators and “socialists” are out to crucify him at any cost. He went on to mock “white-haired” members of Congress and former officials in his administration, ruminate on the 1888 tariff debate and characterize his recent jaunt to Iraq as a lark sparked by loneliness at ChristmasLord, have mercy.

It took Trump almost two hours to mention his failed second summit with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. The bro-fest was hosted by Vietnam, a place Trump avoided during the war on deferments for “bone spurs.”

Trump came home with zero concessions, but had nothing but praise for Kim, a communist gangster who starves people, imprisons dissidents and murders political rivals. Besides all that, though, Kim’s a “great guy with a terrific sense of humor.”

At a news conference the day before his CPAC softshoe, Trump excused Kim from responsibility for the death of Otto Warmbier, a 22-year-old University of Virginia student who died soon after his release from 17 months in a North Korean prison.

Trump said Kim told him he didn’t know an American was being held captive and tortured by a regime of toadies who don’t go to the bathroom without Kim’s blessing. Trump said he took the rival-murdering, people-starving, dissident-imprisoning communist gangster “at his word.”

Also, Kim felt “very badly” about what happened to Otto, Trump said.

Otto’s parents, Fred and Cindy Warmbier, were outraged by Trump’s words and left to wonder whether the president who used them as props at a State of the Union address actually believed what he said.

Did he? God only knows. I know in my bones that Jesus wouldn’t laugh it up with a Caesar who got his kicks tossing Christians to the lions.

Unless I’m missing something, that’s what Trump just did.