Greetings, shivering subjects of my frigid domain!
It is I, the Ice King, Bringer of Storms, Slicker of Roads, Piler of Snows. I took it easy on you peasants this winter, but only to lull you into a false sense of security. I toss you a handful of 65-degree days and you fools run around in short pants and flip-flops bleating about how winter is over!
WINTER IS NEVER OVER!!! NEVER!!! MOOHAHAHAHAHA!!!
My friend Stella is headed your miserable way, and all the milk, bread and eggs in the world won’t satisfy her appetite for destruction! You are French toast! The latest forecast calls for 15-plus inches of snow, gusting winds and bone-chilling temperatures. Sounds like paradise to me!
Button up, buttercups! The Ice King is about to remind you who’s boss around here! Get my drift? MOOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!